Thursday, April 20, 2006

Democracy, Marching

This is how the Bush Administration's allies feel about democracy, via WaPo.

God, I feel terrible.

Through the Fog

I caught sight of him, and from the way he was staring in my direction, I could tell that he saw me.

"Why am I here?" I asked him.
"I've brought you here to send you on an important mission." He was nervous, I could tell. His hand was shaking as he held out his pack of Winstons.
"No, I don't smoke. Thank you though...are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's just the fogs."
"What about it?" I didn't want to correct him.
"As a child, I feared fogs. My dog Killer fell into a well because of the fogs. I watched him die in there."
"Jesus, why?"
"Dehydration."
"Well, we can go inside if you want." I offered, taken aback. "My apartment isn't far."
He made a detailed hand gesture. I couldn't quite make it out. "What?" I asked. "What was that?"
Just then, shots rang out. The fire department's ceremonial firing squad had been there all along.

I woke up in a room with no windows and a cardboard ceiling. You wouldn't believe this, but Tree Rollins was there. There was a basketball hoop on one end of the room. Tree was mumbling to himself: "...the bastards...took my money..."

Almost immediately, I knew what I had to do.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

MOTIVE/MEANS/MOTIVE/MEANS/MOTIVE MEANS....

Just for fun, masses:

Premise: Zalmay Khalilzad, US Ambassador to Iraq, former Ambassador to Afghanistan, Afghani Pashtun, an unabashed neoconservative and signatory to the infamous PNAC letter of 1998, is an Iranian spy.

Of course, Zalmay would never do that. He's much too faithful (& comatose) a lapdog. He wouldn't betray his masters, he would simply be a communicator. He would speak where others could not. Maybe officially this would make him something of a spy, but neocons are an honorable people. That is why neocons of military age are so eager to join the military.

Premise: Republicans and an increasingly unpopular Bush wish to shore up the angry vote. They choose to drop some conventional bombs on Iran this summer. There is, god forbid, a moderate loss of life, the Iranian government declares it an act of war, responding by mining the Strait of Hormuz, which will block traffic for a minimum of one day. A quarter of the world's oil supply will suddenly have vanished, and the price of oil will skyrocket. Even if the Americans can respond quickly and effectively, with no mistakes, the price of oil will have been affected. The damage would be done.

Some Shi'i in Iraq, including this thug prince and possibly the boss, an Iranian himself, condemn the attacks and open the jaws of hell.

This is really not speculation, Muqtada visited Iran and claimed that his supporters would not take kindly to US bombings of Iran. The American position in Iraq is already tenuous.

Premise: The US Embassy in Iraq. The Ambassador, of course, is not present.

Who stands to gain from such a scenario?

Bush and the Republicans ride the disaster effect through the midterm elections once more. Their evil, goat blood-drinking, corruption and cronyism can continue unimpeded.

The tremendously unpopular government(/paramilitary/ruling shadow economy) of the Islamic Republic gains a similar boost in public confidence, allowing its own brand of evil goat blood-drinking (goat blood-drinking in and of itself is not an evil thing!), corruption, and cronyism to continue unimpeded.

Some innocents have died, but those who make real decisions are better off for it all, and the oil industry has made some tidy profits to boot! Not bad work for a day in the life of a cold-blooded, calculating murderer!

Note: I'm not saying that the Islamic Republic and the Bush Administration could or would work together to orchestrate a war that would be mutually beneficial, entrenching two radical dogmas long past their due dates. I'm not saying that.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

BUT who has The Biggest Megaphone?

Though inexcusably diluted in its radical credentials, the Guardian often redeems itself by employing writers of exceptional clarity, including the always ambitious George Monbiot and Simon Jenkins. The latter has a wonderful article about the domestic benefit Iranian hardliners such as Ahmadinezhad derive from the Bush Administration's sabre rattling (and argues that the actual use of military force would strengthen the hardliners rather than weaken them). This is what I've been saying all along, but it is written by a white British man, and I have a hunch that my readers will trust him more. Read that shit.

My birthday is coming up. Wish list item #1.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Casually Beat These Drums of Fear

Lest you forget the beat.

Many of the news sources I choose to peruse, including Al Jazeera, Ha'aretz, and antiwar.com have an article about the impending attack on Iran at least biweekly. And, yes, I dream of being an affluent white person, like you, so I sometimes read The New Yorker, which is notably hysterical (I like that) in a new Sy Hersch article (linked above) about said hypothetical attack. This is either some kind of vigilant anti-Bush journalism, wishful thinking, or ignorant fearmongering. I like Hersch for Abu Ghraib (and I hear he did something, maybe My Thai? Mildly homoerotic Muy Thai kickboxing?) so I'll let him slide with vigilant anti-Bush &c...

As dangerously stupid as the Bush Administration may be, will they honestly use tactical nukes to take out a few possible enrichment sites (or decoys) and end thousands upon thousands of lives? Are they that desparate? That resigned to failure in Iraq? That hungry for blowback?

Probably.

After all, those who benefit can't die: they include major oil companies, Dick Cheney, who still has a wonderful retirement deal (including 433,000 shares in Halliburton--obviously there are some good sites out there like Halliburton Watch), and the NCRI, a political wing of the (Iranian) 'People's Mojahedin' guerrillas that fought for Saddam against their fellow Iranians...for those of you that don't know, they are Iran's 'Iraqi National Congress', a political sham group set up as a front for greedy, marginalized criminals who wait happily for scraps from Dick Cheney's table...They are the ones providing the Bush Administration (which has no bar set whatsoever for credibility of sources) with 'information' regarding Iranian weapons sites and they, along with oil companies, stand to benefit most from instability in Iran. Actually, the NCRI doesn't stand to benefit at all, because it is so greatly despised in Iran, but the power of delusional thinking is great...

But, if you're some truck-drivin, Toby Keith-lovin rube, you best cover your ass, because the recruiters are coming for you, and you have a good chance of dying an anticlimactic death in a sham war of pure aggression and ignorant hatred.

There won't be a ground war in Iran, though that's what Cheney really wants--but the war in Iraq will expand, and US woes in the Middle East will grow exponentially. I can't say this enough: Iran will block the Strait of Hormuz within 30 minutes of being attacked, and even if they don't the possibility of such action caused by an American attack would raise insurance costs on Persian Gulf-faring tankers prohibitively. The price of crude will skyrocket. That said, these wars are oil wars. Don't make any mistake, if they attack it will not be for fear of some eventual possibility of a nuclear Iran.

They will kill thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of people (the Natanz facility is in a relatively populated area, and who knows what else they'll choose to strike) for fear of another country joining the club, a country that poses no more threat than Pakistan or North Korea? Bullshit, friends. Bullshit. If they do it, they'll do it specifically to raise the price of oil (25% of the world's oil moves through the Strait of Hormuz, accounting for 30% of Europe's imports and some 76% of Japan's, for example) and nothing else. There is no nuclear threat. So, while I still don't think it's likely that they will resort to air strikes, let alone tactical nukes, it is a possibility. It was obvious that they wanted to attack Iraq in 2001, and they wanted to follow up with Iran and Syria, but then reality hit, and I think they're still reeling from that.

But $100 a barrel has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Saturday, April 08, 2006

When I Say Something Clever

--I feel pretty damn good. Finnegan, for some of us a hiatus means posting less than three times a day. I commend your verve, but our priorities are different. You see, my friends, I don't post unless I have something to say.

This post is an excellent example of that principle.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Apologies

for the last two posts. They were awful, but not as bad as most of yours. Here's the red meat, mostly for the Berger twins. Blockbuster post on white nationalism later.

ed: For the record, I hate white people.

Water for the Quiet Dead

If bringing skills to me is like bringing sand to the beach, or, for instance, hummus to the Middle East, ask yourself--where are my own skills?--if for NOTHING ELSE than to entertain our preservers in Virginia, we MUST find those skills. As long as you live in an surveilled society, that is, you had better embrace the fact that you are an actor at best, but most likely a reality TV character--your dream! Learn your art, refine it, and please your audience. Do not try to avoid it, because you cannot, and if you did try, that would be suspicious. You cannot talk shit behind your best friend's back. But WHO is your best friend?

Not to sound paranoid.

(Substance forthcoming, if it please you.)

Daydream:

What if the beautiful Nancy Grace had been arrested during law school for, say, possession and intent to distribute illegal narcotics, or a similar felony, like loitering?

She would not have become a STAR prosecutor and CNN would be down one legal expert, UNLESS she went into some admirable field of international law.

An international legal scholar like Nancy Grace on CNN? Color me wishful!


This just in from the Hague, former Liberian strongman Charles Taylor has chosen to plead not guilty to war crimes. Not guilty? This man is guilty as Ham's sin! COME ON! And Milosevic? Don't even start with me, I don't care if he's mildly retarded, GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY (of war crimes and genocide)! And Clinton bombing aspirin factories in Sudan in 1998? GENOCIDE!


(I don't watch Nancy Grace with any regularity, so the joke is not in the imitation. Look DEEPER.)